Thursday, August 7, 2008

Sadness and hatred

I'm battling sadness today and have been trying to deal with this since last evening. I come from a big family, you know the kind of family folks used to have to help with the work around the farm and deal with the higher mortality rate in those days. Mom actually lost 3 of her 9 children before I was even born! And we have our share of family spats. Except my family likes to deal with their differences by announcing "I'll never speak to xxxx again!" which I think is an absolutely silly way to deal with things. How will you resolve your differences if you don't speak to someone? How will you even let them know what p*ssed you off in the first place? I mean, I thought that kind of behavior was left behind in 6th grade, know what I'm sayin?

Anyway, I took the opportunity to visit one of the estranged relatives who is "never going to speak to" his mom or siblings again. But I'm the aunt and figured since I didn't have anything to do with the spat and didn't even know what caused it, it'd be okay to visit and invite them over for dinner this weekend. Rang the doorbell twice--no answer so I figured it was broken and I knocked, causing the dog to go nuts--but I heard voices calming the dog and saw someone look out the curtain. Knocked a second time and announced myself, since they hadn't seen me in a couple of years. Their college-age daughter comes out, closing the door behind her, and announces that they are not interested in coming to see me and in fact don't want to see me at all. I ask what I've done to them, and the girl says she doesn't even know me, doesn't want to know me and wants me to leave. What kind of person sends their kid to the door to do their dirty work? Last time I saw this girl, she was about 5 and here she stands sending so much venom my way that it was overwhelming.

I'm not religious, but I do believe in being kind and behaving well. How, and why, do you teach a child to hate someone they don't even know. This girl and her sister have grown up not knowing their grandmother or 4 aunts/uncles, 5 great-aunts/uncles, 30+ cousins and multitudes of second cousins. Because their father is angry at his mother. And their mother is angry with him. It's just so sad that two people and their anger can ruin the childhood of two once-lovely girls. And what will those girls teach their children (if they can find someone who wants to share a life of anger and hatred with them)? Wow. Just......Wow.

No comments: